


To Get Back To You

by The_passion_in_all



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, F/F, Romance, gp ellie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:42:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25832962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_passion_in_all/pseuds/The_passion_in_all
Summary: Ellie's travel of revenge has lead to a path of the unknown, after her fight with Abby she goes back home beaten and more alone and lost then ever.  Can she make amends with the one woman she has hurt and betrayed the most?  Or is it to late to stitch up the wounds she has inflicted on the ones she loves the most?Bolt italics are thoughts. And flash backs will be in third person in italics.
Relationships: Dina & Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 56
Kudos: 211





	1. The journey home

**Author's Note:**

> A little different twist to the game, this will be an A/O/B type of a universe so be kind lol

Ellie's POV

**_Fuck my body hurts!_** Ellie's mind kept repeating over and over as she dragged her feet across the land of Wyoming....the way back home. Jesus my fight with Abby has left me in pieces, i lifted my left hand to look at my mangled fingers, lumpy red and angry. I sigh and let my hand fall back to my side and kept trudging through the snow. _**Jesus how long** **have I been gone? 5....6 months??**_ Six months of not eating the greatest hell i still cant keep a lot of my food down as it is. I can feel how beaten my body is by the day, with every step that I take feels harder and harder to get back home....to get back to the farm...back to Dina and JJ. God will they still be back at the farm, would Dina even take me back? Does she even want to see me? Will she be disgusted with how i look...who i have become? The alpha in me whimpers in my mind at the thought of being rejected by the woman who i love so much and has been with me through so much of my shit to only turn her back on me causes my hart to ache. Although i most likely deserve it, i left to because i couldn't deal with my own shit, couldn't let the nightmares go. Coming back from California has taken a lot longer then i liked, with no horse the journey is twice as long not to mention I'm to damn stubborn to let my body heal. I lean against a nearby tree and look around the snowy plain before me, i realized that the sun is starting to go down.

"Fuck...I need to rest, gotta make camp somewhere and fucking sleep." I look around and spot a cave a few meters away. Its not a run down shop or building but it will shield me from the snow at least, that should do for now. I push myself off the tree and take a few deep breathes telling my body to walk just a little more and it can rest up. I fix my pack on my shoulders.

"Looks like the farm will have to wait another day" I trudge through the snow picking up spare wood for a fire as I go. I reach the cave and drop the wood to the ground, pulling off my backpack to lean it up against the wall of the cave to act as a pillow for me. I crouch down and get the fire started to give me some warmth for the night. Once i find the fire good enough to keep me comfortable and not freeze my ass off i lay down resting my had on my pack. I close my eyes and take a deep breath feeling the exhaustion finally taking over me until i feel a poking in my back. I lift my hips and pull out my revolver...Joel's revolver. I caress the weapon with such fragile care as if the gun will break apart if i treat it roughly. The only thing besides the broken watch that i have left of the old man, i can feel the burning of tears in my eyes. _**Shit old man what have i become? what I wouldn't give to have you here with me giving me shit for making stupid fucking choices and you ringing my neck and never letting me forget how much of a dumb ass i am...or just to see you smile one more time....give me a hug...squeeze my shoulder when i have made you proud. Seeing you play with JJ, being a grandfather.**_ I glance at my hand again with a hint of distaste.

"well I'm pretty sure playing guitar is fucking out huh Joel?" I ask in the cave. I place the gun to the right of me and look up into the cave ceiling, I try to black out the world, the sounds...easier said then fucking done. My thoughts keep going back to the farm, to my omega and the little potato I left behind. God what i would give to turn back time and to have never have left Dina and potato at the farm. Never going to Santa Barbara, never fighting Abby....not adding more nightmares to my brains arsenal. What i wouldn't give to hold JJ in my arms again, to hear his laugh as i make funny faces in the mirror, hold him as he sleeps. To feel Dina's lips pressed against mine, to hear her moan out my name at night as I'm inside her, to mark her as mine...to just see the love in her eyes again. I feel my eyes starting to get heavier as a lone tear falls down my cheek thinking of happier times when I forgot how fucked up the world can be....no....is. "I want my family" I whisper to myself as I fall asleep

_FLASHBACK 2 years ago_

_"Joel what do you want?" Ellie asks as she leaves her garage built home looking at Joel who stands awkwardly in front of her rubbing the back of his neck._

_"Ellie I was wondering if you want to go on a hunting trip with me and Tommy we are gonna head out her in a few hours? I know its probably not my place but you've seen pretty wound up these last couple of days, figured your alpha can use a good hunt." Ellie sighs and looks around. Yea she has been holding her alpha back lately, ever since she presented shortly after coming to Jackson with Joel her alpha hasn't been the easiest to control, her emotions were triggered easily, she was always on patrol since she was not only experienced the most but her alpha was the most strongest in her age group, could be because of her immunity that bonded with her alpha to give an advantage on her strengths? Possibly but how the fuck would she know? Joel's alpha was different from hers, calmer..but just a fierce as any alpha out there. Deep down she would like to go out with the two alpha's for a few days and and collect food for the town but the betrayal of Joel and the lie he has held for so long still leaves a horrible taste in her mouth. She still cant properly look him in the eye without clenching her fist and wanting to throttle the life out of him._

_"No its cool, i promised Cat I would go to a lake nearby and swim with her." Ellie brushed passed him looking at the ground hearing him call out her name but Ellie just keep walking. She heads to the stables where she told Cat to meet her there to go to the lake. As Ellie gets closer to the stables she spots Dina petting Japan and feeding him sugar cubes. Ellie cant help but smile and stare a little to long at the girl. Deep down even her alpha feels calmer, more content looking at the girl. Shaking her head of any thoughts outside friendship she walks to Shimmer._

_"well hello there handsome what are you doing here? Your not on stable duty?" Dina ask with a smile on her face. Ellie smiles back as she continues to pet Shimmer._

_"No i'm heading out to the lake with Cat she has been begging to spend some time away from the town and be just the two of us." Ellie glances at Dina and notices her smile is pretty much gone. "You good Dina?" Ellie asks worriedly. Dina looks down for a second to change her expression back to a smile._

_"Yea I'm good....its nice of you to do that for her, knowing how your ass is she probably put in a lot of work just for you to say yes." Dina walks over to Ellie with sugar cubes in hand and giving Ellie a small nudge to her shoulder. Ellie chuckles and pushes back._

_"Hey asshole I'm not that bad!" Ellie watches the omega gently give her horse a few cubes and just can't help but think how beautiful Dina is. From her black smooth hair, to the freckles on her cheeks, the sharp nose and that gorgeous smile she wears all the time. "You know if you have nothing going on your more then welcome to come." Ellie tells her but Dina shakes her head._

_"Well thanks for the last minute offer freckles but i got plans with Jesse, he wants to spend some more time together since he has been out on patrols a lot lately, i would be a bad girlfriend if i bailed." Dina says to Ellie. Ellie cant help but feel herself and her alpha let out a little growl at the thought of Dina with Jesse. Yes they are all friends but Ellie cant help feel jealous that Jesse will be alone with Dina. Ellie coughs a little trying to keep her emotions in check after all she is with Cat she has got to stop feeling like this and focus on her girlfriend. As Ellie and Dina look at each other a voice breaks their trance._

_"There you are! I was worried you were gonna be late babe." Cat says as she enters the stables. Walking up to Ellie and giving her a light kiss, Dina looks away from the scene of affection and goes to gather her backpack._

_"Well I'll leave you two to it, have fun you guys." Dina rushes out of the stables before Ellie even has a chance to say goodbye, all she can do is stare at the omega as she walks away._

_END FLASHBACK_

I wake up to a strange whine coming from outside the cave, i pick up my revolver and place my backpack on my shoulders as I kill the smoke from the fire I made the night before. I stay still for a few seconds letting my ears pick up the noise that woke me ( _ **Whines**_ ) there it is again, I slowly leave the cave to following the direction of the whining, a hurt animal maybe? I go east to the noise and as soon as I climb over a few rocks I see three clickers in my path...two are feasting on an animal i cannot make out and the third is walking in circles a few feet ahead of me. I pull out my knife and stalk the closet to me, i remain focused on this ugly fucker and when I am inches away i leap and stab the clicker in the neck bringing it down to lay on the snow. _**Ok one down and two to go.**_ I crouch and try my best to circle around i cant afford to use my revolver with the limited ammo I have left, but with my luck i step on a branch and the clickers turn to me and start running. "Fuck me!" I let out a growl and run to the first one attacking and tackle the clicker to the snow and start stabbing the bastard in the face and neck wherever i can reach its blood covering my knife and arms. I'm to focused on the second clicker i forgot about the third approaching me, it roars at me and I turn just in time to put my arms up to stop it from making me its meal. During the struggling my knife leave my hand and I'm using all my strength to push the clicker away from me. 

"Get the fuck off of me you ugly son of a bitch!!" I keep pushing the clicker throat with my left mangled hand as my right is desperately searching for the knife in a full rage panic, my eyes scan the snow and my fucking knife is only a few inches away from me. _**FUCK ELLIE CMON!!! GRAB THE FUCKING KNIFE!!!**_ My brain yells at me, but in the distance i hear a growl that is not my own and a black mass jumps from the bushes and attacks the clicker. With this distraction i grab my knife and as i go to delivery this fucker its death the clicker hurls the shadow off of it. I plunge the knife into its neck my alpha growling in victory. As the clicker lays in the snow motionless i take a much needed breathe i didn't know i was even fucking holding. 

"Got you motherfucker!" I spit on the clicker and look ahead to see who was my savior, and low and fucking behold its a pup...a wolf, good weight looks to be a few months old. A black wolf with yellow eyes moves in front of the dead animal the clickers were eating. _**Shit....they killed your mother.....in front of you.**_ My thoughts bring me back to a day of blood....screams, being held down, watching my......my father. My thoughts are broken by a little growl from the wolf. I look at the pup and feel my heart break for the animal "Shit I'm so sorry...I know what it's like to watch a parent being taken from you." I crouch down and slowly lift my right hand out to the wolf. _**Please don't bite me dude.**_ I think to myself as the wolf inches its way to me, as the wolf is mere centimetres from my fingers the little bastard lunges at me and i fall back on my ass from the force of pulling my hand away.

"Hey you little shit! Cmon man i mean no harm!" I stand up and hold my hand close to me. "It's not like I have fingers to spare to get bitten off! Geez so much for my knight and shining Armour." I slowly walk away to the direction I know the farm will be. "Well thanks for the save...and I'm sorry about your mom." I start walking heading back home, I slowly slid down a hill and keep walking until I hear panting and howling from the back of me. I turn to see the same damn pup making its way down the snowing hill, the wolf was doing ok until it trips and takes a roll down the hill. I cant help but laugh as the wolf shakes the its head and growls at the hill. "Why are you following me, you tried to attack me not that long ago shoo!" I tried to scare the wolf and to make it leave the other way but the damn thing is stubborn, kinda reminds me of me. I shake my head and take my pack off my shoulders. I crouch down and open the pack for some jerky i traded my rifle for from a family i met along the way. I pull out a piece and stick it out for the pup. It seems interesting but still very not trusting. Shit I don't blame the wolf, it close enough to sniff the meat and very gently take the meat from my hand and devours the jerky within seconds. Poor guy is starving so i pull out another piece and the wolf takes it without hesitation. My hand slowly goes to its head and lightly pets the wolf pup. I smile as i keep on petting the wolf, its fur so soft surprisingly. I get up and start to walk again, i look behind me and notice my knight is walking a few paces behind me, i stop and look at the pup.

"Looks like I have a new stalker huh?" The wolf sticks out its tongue and barks. I crouch once more and stick out my hand, this time it comes to me and nuzzles into my hand. I pick up the wolf with a grunt. _**Fuck you gotta weigh what? twenty or thirty pounds? Hmmm what are you a boy or a girl?**_ I look at the wolf who is staring at me. "Sorry but I'm gonna invade your privacy." I lift the wolf higher and look between the legs. "Well your gonna be a big boy!" I get a bark and a lick on the cheek as a response. I laugh for the first time in what felt like an eternity. "Alright little dude what should i call you if you'r gonna be with me huh? hmm how about Riley?" The wolf doesn't respond "ok...how about Eugene?" Still nothing "well you did save me so...how about Knight?" I ask the wolf and he barks again and licks my face again. "ok ok ok Knight it is!!" i put the little guy down on the ground. Man Dina is gonna shit a brink when she see's i brought back a wolf, if she is even still at the farm. "I hope your good with kids dude...i got a fucking wolf as a companion...shit this is nuts." We start walking side by side taking breaks every couple of hours until I see the farm out in the horizon. I look at the sky and it seems to be late afternoon, i look down at my companion who looks at me. "well Knight looks like your about to see your new home, you ready?" Knight barks and we start to walk again new energy flows through me knowing I'm only an hour away from the farm that has the best memories I have and hopefully my family.


	2. The One Left Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie's travel of revenge has lead to a path of the unknown, after her fight with Abby she goes back home beaten and more alone and lost then ever. Can she make amends with the one woman she has hurt and betrayed the most? Or is it to late to stitch up the wounds she has inflicted on the ones she loves the most?
> 
> Bolt italics are thoughts. And flash backs will be in third person in italics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be Dina's POV, it will switch back and forth to our girls in certain chapters.

DINA'S POV

I watch from the the kitchen window as Robin holds JJ as he pets the sheep with excitement. Reminds me when a certain girl would hold our son with such joy and happiness around the house, or putting the sheep into the barn. I close my eyes and try not to cry, seems I've been doing that a lot lately. Crying for a girl who could be dead or alive, crying for a ghost that may never come home or haunt me. Every day for the past four months i have reached for Ellie's side of the bed to just find it cold and empty. walking through the house with so many memories, hell I needed to close her art room just so the pain wouldn't hit me every damn morning that i woke up. I know why Ellie felt like she had to go after Abby. I would have done the same if i found Thalia's killers, but at the same time we have a family now, I know JJ isn't Ellie's by blood but god did she take care of me through my pregnancy, how she loved JJ as if she sired him herself and not Jesse. Jesse.....god how i miss you. You were my only friend besides Ellie and now I lost you both. Jesse was a good man and an amazing friend, even though i wasn't in love with him he never gave me hell for it or use his alpha side to be possessive and cruel. I think he knew all along who my heart belonged to, we were just wasting time not admitting it, but he gave me JJ and i wouldn't change it for the world. A noise from the front of the house broke my attention and thoughts. I look to the door and see Felix. He is around six foot, a few years older then me, dark hair and tan, well built. Robin has brought him a few times to help with the issues in the farm, mostly patching things up he is a handy man at Jackson and without Ellie as much as I hate to admit it i needed help with repairs.

"Hey Dina the roof is all fixed up for the rest of the winter and for any rain later on" Felix says as he wipes the sweat from his forehead. I grab a glass and fill it with water to had to him. "Thanks Dina." He takes the cup and literally chugs the water in seconds.

"I should be thanking you i couldn't have fixed the roof to save my life." I laugh. Felix smiles at me as he hands me the glass back thanking me again, he looks at me for a little to long and i move slightly away. looking at Robin bringing JJ back in.

"So i was wondering maybe I can take you to the Bison sometime for a drink?" Felix asks me with a hopeful look in his eyes. I sigh and look at Felix.

"Felix I'm sorry but I'm not ready for a drink, at least not right now. Please understand." Felix puts his head down and just nods. "Thank you again for your help but I better get JJ from Robin its almost time for him to take his nap." I walk to the back to to meet with Robin until Felix words stop me in my tracks.

"Dina when are you going to realize that Ellie won't be coming back....and if she does when? Maybe its time to move on and try to let someone in who will stay." I look back for a second as I grip the door handle, not being able to respond I head outside to meet Robin. I put a smile on my face as i reach the two of them.

"This boy is getting way to heavy!" Robin exclaims as JJ reaches out for me. I take him from his grandmother and bounce him on my hip. His brown eyes shining with happiness and gurgling exciting with his baby talk. Robin plays with his hair "You know Dina its not safe for you to be here all alone. You should come back home it's been four months sweetheart. You shouldn't put yourself and the baby in danger because of-" Robin stops as i look at her knowing what she is going to say. I know i shouldn't be here but dammit this is my...our home and if she comes her i cant just not be here. Robin sighs and continues "Please just think about it, you will be safe in Jackson and JJ can grow up safe and go to school and make friends and maybe you can heal and move on from a ghost." A ghost? Ellie is not a ghost I wont let her be a ghost! I don't say anything as i walk back into the house where i find Felix sitting on the couch. I tell Robin I'll be back as i carry JJ upstairs. I turn into the bedroom where JJ's crib is.

"ok baby boy its nap time for you little man." I lightly lay him down on the bed and watch him "What should momma do little man? Should we go to Jackson or wait here?" I tickle his belly as he lets out a tiny laugh. "God buddy I wish your mommy was here." JJ gets quite and looks art me he fusses around a little bit and picks up Ollie and puts Ollie in his mouth. I feel my eyes burning again seeing my son play with Ollie. A gift from Ellie when he was born. "I miss your mommy so much JJ...it hurts, I bet you miss her to." JJ lets Ollie fall out of his mouth as his eyes close and he lightly snores. I kiss his his head. I walk out of the bedroom closing the door, i look at the door that leads to Ellie's art room. I overhear Felix and Robin talking downstairs as my feet find themselves going to the room. I place my hand on the door taking a deep breathe i open the door and i get hit with the smell of Ellie, Trees, gun metal, and just the natural scent of Ellie rugged and sweet. I look around all the drawings of me, JJ, and off to the corner of the desk one of Joel. I walk in and see her guitar case, i pick it up and place it on the table opening the case. I stare at the beautiful instrument in the case and pick it up gently as if it will break. I look at the detail of the wood and the moth on the neck...the moth just like my alpha's tattoo. I bring the guitar close to me and hug it pretending that Ellie will walk behind me any moment and wrap her arms around me making jokes that her little groupie is honoring her tool of the trade.

_FLASHBACK_

_Sounds of a guitar plays around the house as Dina washes the dishes from the dinner she made. once her task was complete she walked back into the living and leaned against the wall as she watched Ellie play the guitar will a little JJ in his makeshift crib looking up[ at her in amazement. Ellie is playing notes and humming along to a tune Dina doesn't recognize. "Exactly what are you playing" Dina asks as she walks closer to her alpha. Ellie stops and looks up with a smile. She puts the guitar done against the couch and pulls Dina onto her lap holding her tightly to her._

_"Just a little tune i created decided to see if my number one fan would like it." Ellie says as she looks at JJ who is bouncing around and clapping his hands. "And by the looks of it I think my son approves of my masterpiece!" They laugh lightly and Ellie turns her head and places light kisses along Dina's neck. Dina hum in approval of the attention and pulls back to properly kiss her girl. Dina lightly bites Ellie's bottom lip before soothing it with her tongue. Ellie groans and pulls her closer breaking the kiss. "Hey now woman don't get me started up haven't you had enough from this morning?" Ellie stats with a little chuckle from Dina_

_"Ellie I can never get enough of you, hell I wondered why it took us so long to be together in the first place." Ellie hums in approval as Dina unwraps her arms from her waist to get up and move next to her on the couch. Dina leans forward and picks up their son from the crib looking at Ellie with a smile._

_"Think you can play a few more songs for your fans stud?" Dina asks. Ellie just smiles and pick her guitar back up resting it on one leg as she adjusts her strings and starts strumming on the instrument and starts to sing._

**_I feel so extraordinary_ **

**_somethings got a hold on me_ **

**_I've got this feeling I'm in motion_ **

**_A sudden sense of liberty_ **

**_I don't care 'cause I'm not there_ **

**_And I don't care if I'm here tomorrow_ **

**_Again and again I've taken to much_ **

**_Of the things that costs you too much_ **

**_I used to think that the day would never come_ **

**_I'd see the light in the shade of the morning sun_ **

**_My morning sun is the drug that brings me near_ **

**_To the childhood I lost replaced by fear_ **

**_I used to think that the day would never come_ **

**_That my life would depend on the morning sun_ **

**_That the day would never come_ **

**_When I was a very small girl_ **

**_Very small girls talked to me_ **

**_Now that we've grown up together_ **

**_They're afraid of what they see_ **

**_That's the price that we all pay_ **

**_our valued destiny comes to nothing_ **

**_I can't tell you where we're going_ **

**_I guess there's just no way knowing_ **

**_I used to think that the day would never come_ **

**_I'd see the light in the shade of the morning sun_ **

**_My morning sun is the drug that brings me near_ **

**_To the childhood I lost replaced by fear_ **

**_I used to think that the day would never come_ **

**_That my life would depend on the morning sun_ **

**_That the day would never come_ **

_**I feel so extraordinary** _

**_Something's got a hold of me_ **

**_I've got this feeling I'm in motion_ **

**_A sudden kiss of liberty_ **

**_The chances are we've gone too far_ **

**_You took my time and took my money_ **

**_And now I fear you've left me standing_ **

**_In a world that's so demanding_ **

_Dina smiles the whole time she listens to Ellie sing, once the song comes to an end Ellie takes a deep breath and leans on her guitar to look at Dina. "So was it good for you?" Ellie smiles at Dina "Looks like the little guy is passed out." Dina looks down and sure enough their potato was asleep against her chest. Dina motions her head up the stairs. Ellie rest the guitar back on the couch and follows Dina up the stairs to their bedroom. Dina puts JJ in the crib as Ellie wraps her arms around her and kisses her neck lightly. "I love you and potato so much, i don;t ever want to lose you." Dina turns around and kisses her._

_"Good." is all that Dina says as she guides Ellie and herself to their bed."_

_END FLASHBACK_

I open my eyes and looks back at the guitar "I love you Ellie. I always will but...i don't know how long I can hold on to you." I put her guitar back in the case close it up and put it back in its original place. I walked out of the room and close the door making my way back downstairs where Robin and Felix are packing up their belongings, mostly Felix's tools into a wagon. I walk to them and give them both a hug and a thank you for coming over and helping around. Felix nods as he goes to the front of the wagon, Robin pauses and looks at me with begging eyes.

"Think about it ok love." Robin says once more as she grabs my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. All i can do is nod my head not having the energy to answer. I watch them leave the farm and as they get smaller and smaller to the point i can't see them anymore i look up into the sky.

"Oh Ellie...please come back to me...just...come back to me." I walk slowly back into my empty home, no music to make me smile, not a voice that i fell in love with cursing over something broken or stupid problem she is fixing. Should i go back to Jackson? Should I lock up the memory of Ellie away and move on? I keep thinking these thoughts as i head upstairs. The bed looking tempting at the moment. I go to my dresser and pull out a light blue flannel that belonged to to Ellie. The one from the dance...where i kissed her. I bring it with me to the bed and hold it close to my chest pretending once again that its Ellie as it brings me to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you again for reading the story!!! also i know we all know this awesome song but i gotta give credit! its true faith by Lotte Kesner, i feel her version would be one that Ellie would play. Thanks again!


	3. Empty Home Empty Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie and Knight have arrived at the farm. But not everything will be peaceful for long.

Ellie's POV

Knight and I cross the fence that leads to the farm and the closer I get the faster my feet start to walk. _**God please be here.**_ I go up the porch steps with Knight right by my side, I look down at him and make contact with his yellow eyes "ok buddy you as ready as I am?" I ask and get a little held tilt from my new friend. I take a deep breathe and place my mangled hand onto the door. "well here goes nothing." I turn the knob and with my eyes closed I open the door. I feel Knight brushed passed my legs and as I open my eyes my heart falls to my stomach.

"No..." is all I can say, the house is empty..barren. All the pictures are gone leaving dust in their wake. I look around some of the furniture is still here, the couch, the table where we had our dinners. I walk to the right down the hall to Dina's sewing room and again empty. **_She left...I took to long. She left.._** I keep repeating the words to myself as I slowly back away from the room and walk back to the center of the home looking in agony at everything gone. No trace of Dina and JJ. I spot Knight making his way upstairs I follow his lead. I look into our bedroom and again empty I spot sheets and a pillow resting on what was my side of our bed. _**Did Dina leaves these here for me? Did she have hope I might still come back?**_ I grab the pillow and hold it until I hear Knight pawing at something behind me. 

"What are you doing boy?" I walk across the hall and I pause. He is in front of my art room. I walk over and gently pet his head before I open the door. Well fuck all my stuff has been moved here. I examine the boxes that hold my clothes, comics, drawings, even some photos that belonged downstairs. I look at the wall where all my drawings still reside, all except three. My portrait of Dina, JJ, and Joel are gone. Dina must have taken them, taken them back to Jackson. I take my backpack off and toss it to the floor as I walk to my guitar case and open it up. I place my hand on the guitar running my finger along the body and then the strings. I grab the guitar by the neck and walk over to a stool that's placed by the window. I rest the guitar on my lap and try to play a few cords. Some notes come out perfectly but the majority just falters and sounds so broken. _**Jesus...I really can never play again.**_ I try a few more notes and they come out just as flat as the rest. Knight sits in front of me staring.

"Sorry bud looks like you wont be hearing me play anytime soon." Knight gives out a whine and lies down by my feet. I lean against the guitar and transport myself back to the last memory of Joel I have, the night I wanted to heal my relationship with him....to taking the first step at forgiving the man who was a father to me.

_FLASHBACK_

_Ellie makes her way to the house her and Joel shared. Still on a high from the dance, from Dina's kiss to that bigot asshole who ruined her night, to getting mad at Joel for what she knows he was only trying to help_ _but goddammit she wasn't a kid anymore! She wasn't useless! Ellie is about to approach her home when she hears a guitar playing a few feet away. Ellie looks at her home and back at the porch she knows Joel is playing from. She knows she needs to settle things with Joel and looks like now is a good time then any. She redirects her steps to the porch. Ellie spots Joel playing a tune he must have created and the closer she gets Joel's attention is interrupted as he spots Ellie._

_"Hey kiddo." Joel says as he puts the guitar down. Ellie gives a slight nod of acknowledgment and walks up to the porch and places her hands on the ledge. Joel slowly gets up grabbing his coffee and leaning on the ledge next to her. Ellie glances at the mug trying to find something to start a conversation._

_"uhh what are you drinking" Ellie asked thinking that's a good place to start. Joel looks at his mug before taking a sip._

_"Coffee." Joel says simply. Ellie shows curiosity for a second wondering how the hell he managed to obtain something that is so rare in this world._

_"Where did you get that?" She asked_

_"Uh, those people that came through last week. A little embarrassed as what I had to trade to get, but...it's not bad" Joel says as he takes another tentative sip from the mug. Ellie nods her head and takes a breathe before looking at Joel._

_"I had Seth under control." Ellie stats._

_"Yea I know." Joel answers back. Ellie stands up a little straighter._

_"And you need to stop harassing Jesse about my patrols." Ellie says a little firmer._

_"ok." Joel whispers. "Dina...is she you'r girlfriend?" Joel finally asks the question that's been on his mind since he saw the two girls at the dance. He always knew of Ellie's affection for the young omega he would have to be blind not to see it, he noticed when she was close to Cat. He just always hoped Ellie would admit to who she was with him eventually, he would love her and accept her regardless._

_"no!" Ellie scoffs "No she- that was just one kiss it doesn't mean anything she just-I don't know why she did that." Ellie looks away rubbing her face on her jacket._

_Joel glances at Ellie "But you do like her?" There is a pause between the said father and daughter conversation as if the wrong sentence or word will break them apart. Ellie bites her lip before sighing._

_"I'm so stupid." She says to herself. Joel continues on._

_"Look, I have no idea what that girl's intentions are, but... she would be lucky to have you." Joel says with honesty. Ellie doesn't know if she should smile or cry. For so long she was afraid of what her sexuality would mean to him. Emotions poor out of her in waves._

_"You're such an asshole!" Ellie's anger is starting to erupt._

_"I'm not tryin to-" Joel is starting to say before Ellie cuts in._

_"I was supposed to die in that hospital." Ellie hits the wood of the porch ledge, anger pheromones coming to the surface. "My life would have fucking mattered! But you took that from me!" Ellie hits the wood again trying to get her emotions under control. She takes a deep breathe and tells herself to relax, keep herself in check. She watches as Joel stands up straight from the wooden rail._

_"If somehow the Lord gave me a second chance at that moment..." Joel takes a pause as if to figure out his the best way to keep going with his answer. He can feel Ellie's eyes burning into his skull. "I would do it all over again." Joel looks at her with a broken serious expression that Ellie cant quiet accept in her mind as they look into each others eyes. One broken and serious, the other sad and remorseful. Ellie can't keep the eye contact and looks straight ahead to the town of Jackson. Roads empty with people at home sleeping or still at the barn for the dance._

_"Yeah...i just.." Ellie swallows before continuing looking back at Joel who has leaned against the rail once again not looking at her. "I don't think I can ever forgive you for that." Ellie says as she looks at the man who has been like a father to her for four years. Protected her, joked with her, celebrated her birthday, taught her to play the guitar, watch movies together. Ellie knows they can't keep going on like this, deep down she knows he meant well by taking her from the hospital that day, that she meant something to him. Maybe its time to heal the severed relationship they once had, it would't be the same, but it could be damn close. Ellie feels her lips trembling and her hands shaking as the next words come out of her mouth. "But I would like to try." Ellie's voice cracks and Joel takes a deep breath closing his eyes as the first step has been made from the younger alpha._

_"I'll like that." Joel says holding back the tears of what this can actually mean for them now. Ellie giving him another chance. Ellie nods her head repeatably accepting the answer knowing not all is lost from the damage that has been done._

_"Okay." Ellie looks at Joel once more "I'll see you around." Ellie says as she starts to walk away. Leaving herself and Joel to their own thoughts._

_"Yep." Joel reply's back clearing his throat. He watches the girl who is in his mind and heart is his second daughter walk into her side of the home, once she was gone he let the tears fall, some even landing into his coffee that is now forgotten. Two long years it has taken for the two alphas to get to this point, but he would wait an eternity for her to get back to him, to forgive him._

_END FLASHBACK_

I shake my head from the memory, guilt hitting me for being to damn stubborn to work things out with Joel earlier. So much time wasted on my anger, on my selfishness. I rise up from the stool and gently place the guitar back against the window. I stare at it for a few seconds contemplating what i do now. Exhaustion hits me all of a sudden. The empty house weighing on me, shoving my fucked up choices in my face. I turn walking around Knight to grab my bag ready to leave the farm. I walk out of the room giving Knight a second to follow me out. He slips passed and I close the door and all the possessions inside it making it my final goodbye to it all. I lean my head on the door and close my eyes. My moment was interrupting by Knight running around in my old bedroom I shared with Dina and JJ.

"Knight what the hell are you doing now?" I ask as i make my way back into the bedroom. My eyes go wide as I see what Knight is doing or other words trying to destroy with his mouth. He found Ollie and is ringing the little toy all over the place pulling at the tiny elephants ear. I drop my backpack and run to the wolf. "Knight no!!! Give that to me!" I try to catch him but Knight jumps on the bed growling in a hopefully playing manner with Ollie still in his mouth. I growl out loud as he now lays on the bed ripping at Ollie some more. "Goddammit Knight that's not yours! That's JJ's." I jump onto the and find myself wrestling with the wolf trying to get the fucking toy out of his mouth. I put my fingers into his mouth and pry his teeth open to grab the toy, but the little fucker wasn't giving up. I finally yank the toy out of his mouth but once I look at it I noticed Ollie is missing his right ear. I glare at Knight who clearly swallowed the piece of Ollie that is now missing. "You little fucker...hope you have a fun time shitting that out." Knight sticks his tongue out and lays on the bed, eyes dropping meaning he wants to sleep. "Oh so now you want to rest up..." I sit up and lightly nudge Knight but he is deep asleep. I shake my head and grab the pillow and place it behind my head. **Guess it doesn't hurt to rest up....who knows when i'll ever see a bed again....fuck this sucks.** I hold Ollie to my chest with my right hand and pet Knight's head with my left as the exhaustion takes over me.

*CRASH* I jump off out the bed hearing the crash, Knight is on the floor outside the door growling, his hackles raised up. "What the fuck is goin on." I put Ollie on the dresser and grab my gun from my bag and head slowly down the stairs with Knight taking the lead. I hear more commotion from the kitchen I aim my gun in the direction I hear the noise. Knight growls and runs in. "Knight no!" I whisper harshly but its to late next thing I hear is a scream.

"Get away from me!! Get away." I run into the kitchen and aim my gun at a woman laying in the kitchen trying to get away from Knight as he stalks her. I see she is wounded on her right leg and by judging from the blood on the floor the wound is pretty fucking fresh which means whatever is after her isn't far behind.

"Who the fuck are you!?" I demanded from the girl. The Girl looks up at me with utter most fear in her eyes sending out fear pheromones as I keep my gun trained on her and Knight snarling.

"I'm sorry I thought this was a safe place to hide! I'm being chased by some crazy fucks I ran into a few miles back talking about fresh meat or something! I swear I mean no harm please don't kill me!" The girl is begging me, I take a look at her, her scent is defiantly an omega, she is young around my age, brown hair matted with dried blood and scared green eyes. Her lips tremble looking for the next thing to say to me "my-my name is Selene. Please I'm begging you don't hurt me....and can you get your pet away....please.." I glance and Knight and tell him to come to me, he slowly backs up before turning around and sitting by my side. I place my gun in the back of my jeans walking towards her, the girl shrinks away from me and I raise my hands trying to send out calming pheromones as best as I can for an alpha. 

"I'm not gonna hurt you I just want to check out your wound alright?" Selene looks at me doubtfully but nods her head to grant me permission. I approach her and crouch down looking at her leg. I gently place my hand on her thigh where the wound is and she flinches with a hiss. "I'm sorry." I say to her. Selene cracks a smile as she watches me examine her wound. Defiantly a gunshot wound but it didn't take a clean exit. "I think the bullet is still in your leg, I'm not seeing an exit wound." Selene huffs.

"Ah dios just my luck I get-" Before Selene can finish Knight growls again alerting me that something isn't right. I slowing stand to peak outside the kitchen window and from a distance I see a group of men scanning the area. I look back at Selene **so their the ones hunting you down.** Selene looks at me "What is it? Is it them?" I don't tell her yes instead I walk behind and lift her by the armpits to help her stand, she hisses in pain but her ass will need to get over it as i loop her arm around my neck and walk her to the living room to place her on the couch. 

"Listen to me I'm gonna take care of the fuckers outside alright but after that we go our separate ways understand?" Selene looks at me for a few seconds before nodding her head. "Good." I look at Knight "Stay her with her you understand." I tell the pup but all I get is another fucking head tilt. "I'll take that as a yes." I pull out my gun and check my ammo, five bullets and a knife hopefully that's all I need. I sneak out the back of the kitchen using the grassy terrain to keep me hidden.

"keep looking for the bitch she has gotta be here somewhere!" I hear one of the men yelling out a few meters away from me, i spot six men in total. I take a deep breath and listen for their footsteps to see if they will split up.

"Mike lets head back this is fucking dumb the girl had nothing." I hear one of the men tell this so called Mike who turns back to him.

"Hey do you wanna eat or not!?" Mike grabs the other by the neck who looks down and nods his head. **Fuck me these sick fuckers are cannibals....** god I'm so sick of all the twisted fuckers I keep running into! I spot a man out to my left heading to the barn. **Target number one.** I make my way to the fucker looking into the barn. I pull out my switchblade and sneak my way to him as he examines the hay stacks. I grab him by the head and stab swiftly into his neck hearing him gurgle to get some form of life in him. I drop him to the floor as I hear more footsteps approaching. 

"Yo Adam! How long does it take to look at a fucking barn man!" The voice yells. **Shit gotta hide!** I look around and jump over one of the pens Dina and I kept the sheep, peeking through the wooden hole so I can see. I hear the footsteps getting closer "Adam what the fuck-Oh shit! Adam is down!!" I watch the next man run to the fallen body as he is examining the man I jump over running to him and tackle him into the hay raiding my knife and plunging it into his chest. I cover his mouth so he couldn't scream as I bring the knife down several times until he stops struggling.

"Fuck.." I spot his rifle around his left shoulder. I lift his arm and take the rifle i quickly check to make sure its loading before heading back outside. I spot the three other men getting closer to the farmhouse. "Shit!" I look around for a good vantage point and there really isn't one. "Fuck...looks like I'm going head on." I run through the grass and hide by the tractor, i see a man to the right of the house trying to find a window. I point the rifle in his direction and take my aim, I take a slow deep breath before i pull the trigger. I fire my shot and see the man go down, alerting the other two.

"What the fuck!!" I hear the man called Mike yell. "Tyler look around for the son of a bitch!" I watch as Tyler runs around the grass looking for any signs of me. **You'r being to reckless dumbass.** I smirk as I watch this man aimlessly looking around, i sneak my way over to the tree closest to the house. I look at the tree and see the carving of a heart and names I placed there months ago. Before I can get lost in thought I spot Tyler near the front side of the tractor, I aim the rifle again and shoot. Bullet goes right through his head. "Fuck...I won't ever get use to this" I murmur to myself. Ok where the fuck is the last one, I'm looking around and I cant spot him, maybe he ran away? I walk away from the tree getting closer to the porch steps until I hear a scream coming from the house. **Shit Selene!!** I run up the stairs and slam into the front door rifle at the ready and in front of me I see Mike holding Selene by the neck with a gun to her head. "Let her go!" I demand but all I see is this sick fuck's smile his crooked rotting teeth smiling at me.

"Oh yea little girl what you gonna do huh? What is this bitch to you. Just let me have her." Mike pulls Selene tightly to him. **Fuck I don't have a clear shot!** I hear a growl in the room and so does Mike as he opens his body a little bit to turn. I see Knight down the hall and he sprints to Mike and lunges biting him right in the dick. Mike screams in agony causing him to let go of Selene, I wince for a second thinking of my own tool between my legs, I aim the rifle again and shoot Mike twice in the chest. He drops with a thud to the living room floor with Knight tearing away at him. I run to Selene and help her back up. She holds me in a death grip as I command Knight to release his death bite. Knight takes a few more tugs before letting go and heading over to me watching the un-moving body of Mike. I drop the rifle and slowly hug Selene back patting her back as a hit to let me go, but the girl is to damn scared.

"Selene....it's ok...it's ok...it's over." I grab her arms and pull them away from my neck and lead her back to the couch. Fuck this girl is shaking. "We need to do something about your leg." The more I look at Selene I noticed how pale she is starting to look.

"Well unless you are a doctor or there is a town nearby I think I'm fucked amor." Selene chuckles a little. She looks at Knight who is sitting by us and bring out her hand for him. Knight lightly sniffs her hand before giving it a gentle lick. "I guess your not so bad after all huh Lobo?" Selene runs her hands through Knights fur. Then I think about what she just said..a doctor...a town...Jackson. I look at Selene and give her a small smile.

"Well you might be in luck, I'm no doctor but there is a town an hour away, a town called Jackson they can help you there." Selene looks at me with hope in her eyes. "Ok let me get my shit and we will head out ok." I rush upstairs before Selene can give me an answer I grab my pack and I was about to leave when I spot Ollie on the dresser. I snatch up Ollie "Looks like your coming with me buddy...I'm sure JJ wants you back with whatever is left of you." I place Ollie in my back pocket and run back downstairs where I see Selene petting Knight again. "Ok lets get going." Selene looks up at me.

"ok and how the hell am I gonna-WHOA!" I pick up Selene and toss her over my shoulder. "Jesus! Give a woman a warning puta!" I roll my eyes and whistle at Knight as I head out the house. Selene hits my back lightly "Hey Alpha! you treat all your woman like this!?" She yells at me.

"Woman you wish you were that lucky." I reply back with a smirk as we make our way back to Jackson. A place I really had no intention of returning back to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew!!! This was some hard work for sure!! decided to give you all an extra chapter for tonight since I'll be on nights for two days. Next Chapter Ellie and her new companions will make it to Jackson. Will she bump into Dina? Will she have to answer to Tommy? Will Ellie stay in the town? We will find out!
> 
> https://images.app.goo.gl/5XXhnQbsARnFjzTq7 pretty much what I see Knight looking as when full grown


	4. Back To Jackson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie gets Selene to Jackson and has a long talk with someone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! So sorry for the long wait work has been insane! Enjoy! Also I apologize for the weird copy of chapter two I don’t know how I miss it being duplicated! But it’s alll fixed so story should be good now!

Ellie’s POV

Jesus Christ maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to fucking save this chick I have over my shoulder at the moment. She has been talking non stop and I’m ready to just drop her ass and say fuck this. Knight seems to be having a good time being slightly ahead of us sniffing ever tree he can find. **I swear this pup is more dog then wolf…** I roll my eyes trying my best to tune out Selene who is just rambling on about….what is she talking about anyway? I adjust her a bit on my shoulder holding her legs tightly she the girl doesn’t fall.

“Hey hey hey now getting to close to my ass there amor. I appreciate you saving me but you gotta treat me to a nice dinner before touching the goods over here.” Selene pats her own butt in good measure.

“No thanks your mouth is all I can handle right now.” I snort back. Selene pretends to be offended with a little gasp coming from her mouth.

“Well how rude! And to think I was enjoying the show of strength you got going on! And your not to bad looking I was gonna give you a chance if I make it out alive from this wound.” Selene tells me and I chuckle.

“Gee thanks I’m so honored. I always wanted a woman who was enticing enough to be eaten by cannibals.” Selene let’s out a laugh.

“Well I’ll have you know this omega is very delicious.” I blush at her statement my mind going to places it shouldn’t be going right now. Selene must have noticed how uncomfortable I became. “hey I’m just messing with you Ellie you know hahaha.” I roll my eyes praying that the gates of Jackson show up soon.

“Ya I know I’m just….distracted.” I feel Selene place her hand on my back to lift herself a bit probably to look at me.

“Is it about this Jackson town? You got bad history there or something?” I gulp at her question. **I wouldn’t say bad history, more of being ashamed to be seen by people that counted on me.** My brain answers but my mouth remains shut. I hear Selene talk again the next question hitting me the hardest. “Is there someone there in the town you care about?” I slowly walk to the point I’m standing still with a wolf to my left and a woman sitting on my shoulder. I can’t help but push out anger pheromones to prove a point I’m done talking.

“Stop asking fucking questions you got it!” I snap at her and I see Selene try to shrink from my pheromones surrounding her exposing her neck slightly into submission. I close my eyes and reverse my pheromones to calm down and to counter my action to making it seem I’m putting an omega in her place for doing nothing wrong then asking some questions. **She doesn’t know my past, she is just trying to get to know me….hell she might get hurt eventually just by trying to get close to me, I’m a walking curse.** “Selene I’m sorry it’s just…your asking some questions I really don’t wanna answer right now ok?” Selene relaxes when the pheromones go away and nods her head.

“No I’m sorry sometimes I forget not everyone wants to open themselves up right away. I’m sorry Ellie.” Selene releases some calming pheromones to make the moment comfortable again and in her own way an apology to me. I continue to walk with a faster pace then before.

“No your fine I know you meant nothing wrong I’m just…fuck…I’m fucked up.” I hear Selene laugh.

“Alpha you ain’t wrong but it’s ok cause if I make it out of this I owe you a drink!”

“Alright you got it.” I reply softly. Maybe Selene ain’t so bad after all. We are on top of a hill and I see Jackson “ok Selene we are almost there” getting to the gate seems like an eternity before I hear a voice shout out to me.

“Who are you!!” I look up to the post and see a young kid pointing a rifle.

“My name is Ellie I use to live here! Go get Maria she will vouch for me and hurry up I have a woman injured!” I gently put down Selene so she can rest on my right side looping her arm around my neck. **Fuck my shoulder is gonna hate me tomorrow.** I hear commotion behind the gates before I see the gates open. A few dozen townspeople with guns slowly approach us until I see Maria making her way through. I feel my eyes burning again seeing the woman who I’ve always seen as a aunt to me. She looks confused for a moment looking at Knight, to Selene, and to me. The moment her eyes met mine her eyes grow large, her hand flys to her mouth and next thing I know she rushes to me holding my face in her hands.

“My god Ellie it’s you….” I can feel the relieve and happiness flowing from her to me making me feel at ease and warm. Maria calls two men and orders them to grab Selene. Selene is hesitant at first holding me tighter.

“It’s ok they are gonna take you to medical. Their not gonna hurt you.” Selene looks at me as I talk to her and I offer her a smile “I promise. I’ll see you as soon as I can ok?” Selene smiles back.

“You better alpha you and little lobo.” Selene says as the men help her to the hospital. I hear a growl and look at Knight who is growling at one of the guards who is still aiming a gun at him.

“Hey asshole put the fucking gun down and away from my-“ shit do I say dog or wolf? But before I can figure out what to say Maria helps me out again.

“Felix put the gun down the pup is defending Ellie from you.” Felix looks at me hard as if my name gave him a bad taste in his mouth. We stare each other down before he relents and lowers his rifle. **Fuck is your problem dude?** I keep my eyes on him and Knight continues to growl…apparently there is something about this douche that Knight doesn’t like. “C’mon Ellie lets get you inside.” Maria pulls me to her and leads Knight and myself to her home. I can’t help but shrink as I feel the fucking town of Jackson just fucking looking at me. I let out a snarl to the crowd before I feel Maria engulf me in calming pheromones. I find myself leaning into her embrace and blocking out everyone else. We reach Maria’s home, as she goes to open the door she notices my posture. I’m I’m fucking stiff and breathing deep. “If your wondering Tommy isn’t here we still live separately.” Maria opens the door and motions for me and Knight to go in.

“Things are still off with you two?” I ask as Maria makes me sit at the dinning room table. I can see the troubling emotions in her eyes as she sighs shaking her head.

“We would be fine if he left you alone and let you live your life with Dina and the baby, but he can’t let the grudge go. Now sit here you look like you haven’t eaten in months. Least not properly I’ll make you something.” Maria goes into the kitchen as I sit here thinking of what the fuck I’m going to do now I’m in Jackson. **Shit Dina…**

“Hey uhh Maria is Dina and JJ back in the town?” I finally having the guts to ask playing with my fingers. I can hear Maria rustling around in the kitchen.

“Yes she and JJ are staying with Robin. They moved back here around 2 months ago I want to say.” Maria makes her way to me handing me a sandwich and placing some meat on the floor for Knight you took it greedily. “She loved the farm but…being alone with the little guy and making sure the farm stayed in tact was tough for her, of course the girl would never admit it whenever I saw her on supply runs she needed, and Robin and I were worried about her being alone out there..” I gulped trying to not feel like I’m about to puke. Of course Dina left the farm…why wouldn’t she? I left her alone for what? Some stupid revenge that I didn’t even finish? Maria must have sensed my distress because she lightly touched my arm and spread calming pheromones around me. I gave her a small smile in thanks before I picked up the sandwich and took a bite. I let out a moan and before I can control myself I start downing the first piece within seconds. Maria takes a seat across from me and just watches me the sandwiches until the silence is broken. “Ellie….why did you leave her?” I paused eating the food at Maria’s question. She looked so serious that it light weight rocked me to the bone. “Was revenge on that woman so strong you couldn’t let go? Was your love for that girl…for that baby not enough? Does Tommy make you truly feel you owe him a death so much that you drop everything you ever wanted?” Maria’s question hurt but I can see her curiosity, I let out a pitiful whine and try to hold back my tears. I push the plate aside with my good hand and hiding the left. I gather my thoughts so I can give the best answer possible.

“Maria….I love Dina and JJ with my all of my heart and soul but….I was…I am seriously fucked up. I was having panic attacks all the time at the farm and I tried so damn hard to push the memories of Joel’s death away. Put away his screams but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t. I was a zombie going through the motions. Fuck…Dina was my everything she never left my side and always tried to help, and JJ helps take the pain away when I can make him smile but I felt like I would become a burden to them. Some pathetic alpha who can’t wake up from her own nightmares even when I’m conscious. I couldn’t eat…I barely slept, I always found myself running to the woods to kill something. Tommy telling me about Abby….yeah it was a guilt trip…but I’m also wrong for letting him get to me and using my pain to get me to move and hunt Abby.” I look down at the table not able to look at Maria in the eye anymore. I feel a nudge on my leg and see Knight leaning against me for comfort. I smile a little and lightly pet him as a thank you.

“So did you find her?” Maria asks me “did you find peace in killing her?” I slowly look back up and shake my head.

“I traveled all the way to Santa Barbra and ran into some slavers picking up people to use them for their gain. One told me where they had Abby…some fucked up mansion of sorts. I mowed all those fuckers down, found a cellar where they kept the slaves and asked them where Abby was. One man told me she was at the beach for punishment. Those sick fucks hangs people on poles like a crucifixion. I found her…she was unrecognizable. All her muscle gone, burnt skin, cut hair, I cut her down and I’ll admit I didn’t know what I was doing anymore. I watched her go to this kid tied to another pole….all she cared about was that kid. She told me to follow her to these boats and that’s where I demanded she fight me…but she wouldn’t, she didn’t want to fight she was done.” Maria kept quiet listening intensely. “So I forced her…I….I put my knife to the kids throat and when she saw I was making him involved in our shit that’s when she gave in…not because of revenge…but for the love of a kid. We fought, shit we fought until there was nothing left.” I brought my left hand to the table to show her my result of the fight. “I had her Maria I was drowning her….but I saw Joel in my mind…smiling at me playing the guitar and….I realized that…this isn’t who I am….I don’t want this…Abby doesn’t want this…as fucked up as it is….her relationship with that kid is a carbon copy of mine with Joel. If I killed her the cycle would keep going, the kid would hunt for me when he is older. I wanted it to end so…I let her go…..and I came back to what I thought was home.” I lean back into her chair exhausted from talking. Maria gets up and walks over to me and wraps her arms around my shoulder la hugging me.

“You are home Ellie. And even with as big of a mistake you did leaving, I think you found your humanity again by letting Abby go with the boy your not a monster. I love you like you are my own, you are my family and I’m just so happy to have you back alive.” Maria whispers into my ear and I hold her arms to me tightly needing the comfort from someone I care for. “Now your going to have to talk to Dina eventually, show her your heart and that what you want is your family back. Now Ellie it won’t be easy you hurt that girl but I know she loves you still.” I shake my head.

“How the fuck would you know she loves me? She probably hates me.” I reply back and Maria lets me go to look at me again.

“Because I would catch her going to the post towers looking out into the woods, her sneakily asking newcomers if they have seen a redhead woman with a unique tattoo on her arm. She never stopped looking Ellie.” I take a big breathe to try and calm my heart and my alpha from Maria’s words.

“I need to see her….” I go to stand but Maria stops “Oh no not today you aren’t. To much has gone on today Ellie and I’m sure the town will be buzzing about you and when Dina hears about it well….be ready for it. Also your new friend is at the hospital and I’ll check on her for you and see when you can visit her depending on her condition, but right now you and your pet need rest.” As much as I hate to admit Maria is right dragging Selene from the farm to Jackson was exhausting and as much as I want to see Dina and JJ I need my strength to help me even talk to her. Maria guides me to her sofa and instructs me to lay down on the pillow she has placed on the armrest. I obey her commands and lay down sinking into the couch. Knight jumps up and flattens himself to my side, I place my arm around him running my fingers through his fur. “Well he is loyal.” Maria says as she covers me with a light blanket before moving to my feet to remove my shoes.

“His names Knight he saved my worthless ass from clickers.” I feel my eyes start to get heavy. Last thing I see is Maria scratching under Knight’s jaw before saying one more thing before sleep takes me.

“Well keep saving her Knight…..she is going to need you more then ever.”


	5. Hospital Visit And Seeing A Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie visits Selene and gets her story of how she ended up in the farm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will not have a POV from a certain character for this chapter but it will switch around!

**_ No ones POV _ **

Ellie woke up to a rough wet tongue of Knights running along her cheek. She tried to push him away wanted more sleep, but the wolf was not having it. Ellie faces her back to Knight which she regretted immediately when he opened his mouth and grabbed her hair and yanked.

“Ow!!!! Asshole!!” Ellie screamed and pulled Knight off her hair. She held the pup up lifting him with her arms. “Dude…why are you an asshole right now?” Knight tilted his head to the side and went in for another lick to his human. Ellie moves her head and put Knight onto the floor. “Oh no you soaked my cheek dude.” To make the point across Ellie wiped her hand along her cheek that showed him the drool he left behind. Knight howled and took a playful stance before her feet, head and upper body bowed and his butt in the air his tail wagging. Ellie looked around for signs of Maria before dropping onto her hand and knees and giving Knight a playful growl before shoving him back playfully. Knight howls and jumps onto Ellie who playfully rolls around with her wolf pup. Maria enters the front door to hear laughter, panting, and howling. As she reaches the living, she had to blink her eyes a few times to believe what she was seeing in the middle of her living room was Ellie and her black wolf wrestling around playing.

“Now I have seen everything.” Maria says lightly which causes Ellie to stop what she is doing with Knight to jump up and look at Maria. Almost embarrassed to be caught playing with Knight. Maria smiles “I’m glad you found him looks like you two are meant for each other.” Ellie let’s out and embarrassed laugh and bends down to pet Knight on the head, scratching his ears.

“I’m lucky to have found him for sure, but like I said he saved me so…yea maybe we are meant to be together.” Ellie can’t help but smile as she looks into Knight’s eyes. Ellie stand up straight again taking a more serious tone. “How is Selene?” Maria sits at the dining room table before speaking.

“She is recovering nicely from what I’ve been told, doctor said she is lucky you found and brought her here when you did. She wouldn’t have lasted much longer.” Ellie nods profoundly grateful the woman is ok. “Soooo Selene…is she…ya know??” Maria asked and it takes a second for Ellie to fully understand the question.

“What no!! No, we legit just met yesterday morning.” Ellie stammers with a hint of a blush. “Anyway, is it cool if Knight and I go see her?” Ellie asked which Maria responds to in a nod. “Awesome thanks again for feeding me and letting me bum your couch Maria.” Maria waves her hand at the girl.

“Nonsense like I said before your family and speaking of, if your interested…no one has moved into your old place. Yours or Joel’s. Maybe if you want you and your friend can stay there have a place to stay again and call home If you want.” Ellie thinks over Maria’s words.

“Is it alright that I think about it and talk to Selene and her what she has goin on?” Ellie asks.

“Of course, and for the meantime until you decide you and Knight can stay here. It’s gonna be a week or two before Selene can leave the hospital.” Ellie nods nodding her farewell with Knight and making her way to the hospital. Ellie’s eyes kept roaming for a familiar face hoping but also dreading out of fear to see the one person she made her mission to get back to. She had to stop a few times when children from the town came running to her and Knight hoping to pet the wolf many mistook for a puppy. Thankfully Knight didn’t seem to mind the children as much as other adults who tried to approach whether to talk to Ellie or to try their hand at petting Knight, Knight would let the children pet him behind his ear and back, but for adults he tended to be more guarded and would hide behind Ellie. After some time, Ellie guided Knight back to their direction to the hospital away from the crowd they both had enough of. Ellie and Knight made their way into the hospital asking a nurse where Selene was being kept. The nurse gave a polite smile and took the two to the girl. Selene was laying in bed being checked over from what Ellie could guess was the towns doctor, a middle-aged blond woman with a gentle face and smile, perfect for someone who is involved in the medical field. Selene looks bored out of her mind, but once she spots Ellie and Knight she smiles.

“Finally, you come by!! I was thinking of sending a smoke signal or something to let you know to come here!” Selene claps her hands and calls Knight over to her. Knight gives a howl and jumps up onto the bed immediately cuddling up to Selene who laughs and cuddles him back, all the while Ellie smiles at the scene which was gone as soon as it came when the doctor gave a disapproving look with having the pup on the patient.

“Selene please get the animal off the bed your injuries are still highly fragile.” The doctor spoke calmly but still in a strict tone. Selene pouts and hold Knight’s face into her hands turning him to the doctor.

“Aw c’mon Dr. Turner look at this face how can I not let this handsome man be all cuddled up to me! He is mostly harmless right Ellie?” Selene looks at the alpha turning Knights head to her as well. Knights expression is seeming more like a “please help me.” Versus “aren’t I cute!”

“Uhhh honestly doctors orders say no wolf on the bed so- “Ellie walks over to the bed and takes Knight from Selene with an apologetic smile. “Besides, we’ll be right here for a bit.” Ellie takes a seat at a spare chair next to the omega’s bed. As the alpha was putting Knight down Dr. Turner steps in front of the girl examining her.

“What’s your name girl?” Turner as already eyeing Ellie’s left hand. Ellie tries her best to hand her injury but even she knew it was to late to hide the wound.

“Ellie….name is Ellie.” Dr. Turner’s eyes flash with recognition of the name before she grabs a chair from the opposite side of the Selene’s bed and drags it in front of Ellie as she takes a seat.

“Ahhh your Maria’s niece…. Joel’s daughter, I heard a lot about you from Tommy and Maria and what has happened to you and the family over the two and a half years. I’m sorry for your loss.” Ellie does not have the words to express anything to the doctor other than a nod of her head as Selene looks between the doctor and Ellie. Ellie peaks at Selene who has a look on her face as if saying to her “ ** _I hope you tell me your story one day.”_** Dr. Turner lifts Ellie’s hand and shakes her head. “I’m genuinely surprised there is no infection, the stitching was rough and being out there with the environment doesn’t help. Did you have any wrappings to at least protect the stiches?” Turner asks as she feels the stubs for any abnormalities of the healing.

“No, I was just trying to get back, the stiches are the best I could do and really think of at the time.” Turner nods her head at the girl’s statement.

“Have you been experiencing any pain or stiffness of the numbs? Can you move your fingers for me and form a fist please” Ellie rolls her eyes, but does as commanded by the doctor, flexing her fingers, moving them around, and slightly forms a fist finding a tiny bit of stiffness and pain from the move. “You will need some heating cream to loosen up your muscles of the fingers and I would recommend some wrapping to keep the lotion on for the heat to do its job, I’ll have one of my nurses get you that and some anti-inflammatory cream to help with the swelling.” Ellie lets out a huff. **Well fuck me I knew I should have hidden my fucking hand.** Ellie thought to herself feeling irritation building up as she watched the doctor walk away.

“Well nice to know I’m not the only one fucked up huh.” Selene says as soon as the doctor is out of ear shot.

“Hey at least I’m not stuck to a fucking bed for a few weeks staring at an empty wall.” Ellie bites back watching Selene groan throwing her head back.

“Dude why do you have to remind me!” Both woman chuckle.

“Don’t worry I’ll bring you some comics or something, so you don’t go stir crazy…and some of Maria’s cooking cause I promise you the food here sucks ass beyond belief!” Ellie exclaims shivering at going back to the times she was stuck at this place more than once. The two girls make a light conversation to kill time and get to know each other. “Selene what is your story? Why were those men hunting you as food?” Ellie asks now that they are safe within the walls of Jackson. Selene looks at her hands and plays with the bed sheets.

“God where to I start? Well chica I will tell you what…I’ll tell you my story if you tell me yours. Maybe not today, but someday I hope you’ll trust in me to tell me yours.” Selene looks at Ellie with a dead serious expression telling Ellie she is serious. Ellie scratches her head and thinks it over, **can I really open up to somebody else? Do I want to re-live my nightmares…my pain?** Ellie thinks to herself.

“ok…ok deal, but your gonna have to give me time it’s not a story I’m proud of at all.” Selene accepts Ellie’s answer as she goes on to tell her tale. Selene calls Knight back up to the bed, both women watch the little wolf fail at the first attempt to jump on the bed falling onto his side with a yelp. Ellie was about to pick him up until Knight backed away and measure his next jump, giving himself a running lead, he sprints and leaps onto the bed landing right onto Selene’s injured side. Selene bites her lip to hold in her scream that wanted to come out, but she did not want to worry the wolf. Once the girls and wolf were settled, she started to explain how she came from Colorado with a few survivors from a small settlement they had for a few years. Selene talked about this raid that completely decimated their little settlement, the raiders must have been watching them for months, her people weren’t experienced in any type of military fighting, they were just a group of thirty people trying to survive the best that they knew how. Ellie listened with interest as Selene continued her story petting Knight the entire time trying to calm her anxiety relieving the attack. Selene continued how she can still hear screams of woman, men, and children as they were butchered by raiders. Selene mentions that a friend and a few other helped her to escape, of course feeling like cowards to leaving the others to die, but survival mode just took over for them. For months, the small group travelled through Colorado into Wyoming. She went on to give details about them scouting a nearby grocery store hoping to find some valuables when the very same raiders ambushed them. Her story never got better after that.

“So we didn’t have the best of weapons, Doug, Marvin, Juan, Carla, and I tried our best but we were weak from hunger and they were just so much stronger….Doug was the first to die…the Juan, he managed to kill one of the bastards, but he got his neck sliced off soon after. Marvin told me and Carla to run for it…Carla would not leave Marvin….that was her mate if he dies…she was good as dead as well. I refused to leave them to die so Carla and I begged him to come with us, it was three against six so we took off into the trees hoping to use the environment to our advantage. I was able to kill one of those bastards who went a little further ahead of his group, Marvin took care of another.” Selene looks up at the ceiling trying to not have tears fall from her eyes. Ellie senses the girl’s distress and gently puts her hand onto the omega’s shoulders.

“hey, you don’t have to finish, I know how hard it is trust me.” Ellie gives Selene a light smile, but Selene wipes her eyes and shakes her head.

“No, I need to get this out, help me come to terms with it.” With a deep breathe and a quick squeeze to Ellie’s hand she continues, “We weren’t expecting a scream…a scream of fear and pain and we see Carla held by her hair by one of those sick fuckers. One of them telling us if we quit this chasing mouse game that our deaths will be quick. Marvin was seething he just took off after the guy holding Carla, but he got shot down. Carla told me to run and survive as she cried for Marvin, I was frozen…looking from her to Marvin. I could feel her pain as if it was my own, it was unbearable and she was taken next the man stabbed her in the neck over and over and over…..I watched the blood just flow out of her and….the sick fuck licked the blood from her neck. He licked it and smiled!! Before I knew it, I took off, but not without getting a shot to the gut a few meters out and well. I ran into you in your farm not long after.” Selene couldn’t stop the tears anymore and let them flow out. Knight picking up on the woman’s pain sat up and reached out to give her face a comforting lick trying to get Selene to feel better.

“I’m so sorry Selene, that is fucked up beyond anything and I’ve seen some fucked up shit. Hell I’ve done fucked up things that I’m not proud of, but what you have seen and been through….I’m so sorry” Ellie would have hugged the girl but she just doesn’t know how to approach those type of emotions anymore, instead she sits on the bed with Knight and Selene and puts her hand back onto Selene’s shoulder squeezing lightly. “Good thing is you told someone what happened, it’s a good step to healing. Wish I did that a long time ago myself.” Ellie and Selene sit in silence after a while. Selene cry’s go to sniffles and Ellie petting Knight on the bed. Both women picked up the sounds of footstep coming their way.

“Well damn another nurse to bug the shit out of me” Selene groans and Ellie shakes her head.

“Ok so which out of you two needs the lotions for a hand injury?” Ellie’s eyes widen to the point her eyes could pop out. **No…please god no it can’t be!** Selene studies Ellie her reaction speaking volumes. Ellie slowly turns her head and comes face to face with the woman she left behind. Dina drops the ointments and brings her hands to her mouth, her body shaking. Dina is trying to process if what she is seeing is real, that Ellie is here after months of wondering if the woman was alive or if she was dead. Dina watches Ellie slowly get up from the bed as if moving to fast would have Dina running. Dina looks from Ellie to Selene and can’t help the anger that soon follows, her mind wondering if the girl in the bed was something more to Ellie, what connection did they have?

“Dina-“ Dina hears her name from the voice she has tried to forget for so long, it’s to much for her and she turns around and runs out the room. Ellie commands Knight to stay with Selene as she takes off after Dina, her instincts telling her to chase, to catch, to fucking explain everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading and so sorry for the long wait!! Work has been hectic!


	6. Please Just Listen To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie and Dina Finally talk after months apart. Emotions are running wild and hearts may be broken.

**Ellie's POV**

~~~~I Ran after Dina's as fast as my legs can carry me, I tripped over the steps of the clinic in the mid run of panic. I see Dina a little ahead of me as she is running as well, I pick up my pace and as I was within arms reach I grabbed her arms and tugged her to me to stop the motion of running. Which in turn wasn't the best idea the second the motion stopped I felt a jolt of pain hit me in the right cheek. **Fucking hell that hurt!!** My alpha growls in response to the attack but I tell myself and the beast within that this hit was well deserved. I let go of Dina only raising my right hand and leaving my left hand hidden behind my back.

"What the hell are you doing back here!?" Dina yells at me, giving me a shove in the process. 

"Dina I went to the farm...you weren't there and I-" Dina interrupted me before i can continue on. Her eyes set ablaze with so much anger I couldn't decipher if it was anger mixed with pain or mixed with hatred...hell maybe a mix of all of it. She was breathing so hard as if she has been running a mile I was afraid her heart might actually explode.

"Of course I left Ellie! You left me and JJ all alone to chase a fucking woman who has destroyed our lives so many times! You left me with a baby and a barn to take care of, I struggled everyday after you left. Ellie I begged you to stay.....stay with your family I was hoping you would have stayed!." I can see the tears trying to not fall from my loves eyes. My heart breaking more into pieces. What can I possibly say to make this better or any less painful....I don't think I can nothing I say will fix the fuck up move i did. I keep my distance from Dina knowing I have no right to even attempt to come closer to her.

”Dina I know sorry won’t cut it and I don't blame you for being so an angry at me, hell even hating me, but please let me just explain....yes Tommy helped push me to where I needed to be to break and go after Abby, but even with Tommy's persuasion...Dina I was so messed up already. Like I told you I couldn't eat, I couldn't even sleep right. I was a zombie...I wasn't any good to you and JJ." I watched Dina bite her lip and tears on the brink of falling from her eyes. I gamble and step a few steps closer from her. "Dina I wasn't any good to you or JJ, i wasn't a fit parent and you were trying so damn hard to help me out and I just felt useless. If I could turn back the clock i would have never left, I would have let you taken me to the bedroom and make me forget the stupid promise I made to Tommy and the stupid guilt I still had build up inside of me. What I wouldn't give to hold you in my arms again and hold JJ and make stupid jokes he doesn't understand and make him smile." I finally release the breath i never knew i was holding. I try to capture Dina's brown eye with my own but she is still looking down at the dirt. 

"Ellie its been over six months since you left.....You talk about turning back the clock but....the damage has been done....I tried to understand the reason to go after Abby I really did...I tried so hard...so hard to understand....tried so hard to help you with anything you need hoping that I would be enough...that our son would be enough,I could have sworn we were happy.." hearing the pain in Dina's voice made me have the courage to grab her hands into my own.

"Dina we were! I just couldn't let go of the past which is not your fault you did nothing wrong it was all on me Dina....I'm the I'm the fuck up Dina not you....." Dina observed my hands and I feel her fingers brush my stubs, her head jerks up to me and I see her lips tremble. "Dina can we go somewhere private and talk more please? Just listen to me and I promise if you want me to fuck off or whatever I will but let me at least give me a chance to explain everything." I pleaded with Dina as I stared at her. She looked around and noticed we have attracted a crowd, people whispering to each other seeing what we will do next. Dina tilts her head, giving me instruction to follow her lead. I keep my distance as I pace behind her, no other words are said and I decided to keep my mouth shut and try and think of how I'm going to have to explain my turmoil to Dina, the fight with Abby, my way back home, finding Knight and Selene, to raiders wanting Selene for a meal...draggin her here...hell if it wasn't for Selene I most likely would not have even came back. Dina leads me to a house....her house and I follow her up the porch. Dina slowly opens the door and walks inside. My feet cant seem to move, I'm stuck wondering if anyone else is inside. 

"No one is home and JJ is with Robin babysitting for me." Dina tells me as if she read my mind. I find myself dissapointed JJ isnt here but i rather him be at Robin's then Robin being here and most likely get another slap from another woman on the same day. I step inside the house and look aeound my surroundings. Its simple and warm, light colored walls with pictures of JJ on the wall. I glance to my left and see a kitchen with a small dining room table, a few flowers in points for decoration, to my right is a living room and fire place with a small bookstand, Dina's sewing table and machine and of course a record player.

"You have a lovely home." I say trying to break the tension between us. Dina doesn't say anything back just walks passed me to the living room and sits down on her couch. I stand in my place a few feet away not knowing what to do with my body. Dina stares at the unlit fireplace, no emotion on her face.

"Was it worth it? Did you get what you wanted in the end?" Dina asks me still refusing to look my way. I sigh and lean against the wall playing with my hands due to anxiety.

"No....no it wasn't because I ended up alone..I lost you and my son." Dina scuffs.

"Well I hope killing the bitch was some closure." I winced at the harshness of her tone. **Well time to come clean.** My brain tells me.

"I didn't kill Abby Dina." The minute the words left me Dina's head snapped in my direction so fast I could have sworn she broke her damn neck. Before Dina could say another word I beat her to it continuing my explanation. "I wont lie I wanted to kill her Dina and make her pay for taking Jesse away from us, taking away Joel, hurting Tommy....hurting you, almost taking you away from me. I was fucked up by the time I found her on this beach....I made her fight me and we beat the shit out of each other, at one point I had her underwater....drowning her and I just couldn't do it, I saw Joel and then I thought of the people I loved and I didn't want the cycle of revenge and killing to be put on anyone else that I care for." I slowly made my way to Dina, once I got close I kneeled in front of her, my nerves gone, I just want to be near this goddess again. I place my hand on Dina's cheek caressing her gently. "I left you yes...thinking I needed to get rid of this infection holding me in the past, but I didnt realize that what I needed to do was make peace with it all and stop the killing...stop the hatred and find my way back home...where I belong....thats you Dina..." I try my hardest to not let the tears fall from my eyes as I see her's slid down her face wetting my palm.

"Oh ellie....." Dina brokenly says "I think it's to late.." Dina hiccups and crys into her hand. I lowered my hand and look on in pain, my chest is tightening and I swear my heart has stopped beating for a second before every beat that my heart is doing is causing more and more pain. 

"Dina I know i left but if you give me a chance please let me prove I'm here to stay, I want my family back. Please Dina?" I'm letting the tears fall at this point holding on to her in desperation. 

"Ellie I....God Ellie-" Dina was cut off by the front door opening and low and behold the same asshole that I met at the gate entrance came walking through with....JJ. **Why is this fucker holding my son? Why is he here...WHY!?** My wolf was losing control. I look at Dina and it all clicks into my head. I rip my hands off of her and stand up with to much speed I trip over my feet, I regain my balance, but the feeling of needing to puke is rising. 

"Is this what you meant about being "to late" Dina?" I glare at Felix feeling a growl erupt from my throat as I watch this man hold MY SON closer to his chest. **But is JJ my son? Do I have the right to even think like this.**

"Ellie....I didn't-" Dina tried to answer me until Felix's voice cut in.

"She couldn't wait forever on a ghost alright. You left her behind, so let her be happy with someone who won't abandon her." Felix growls at me as he makes his way to the living room. I'm losing control my vision is going red....I need to leave before I cause more damage. I rush to the door not knowing where the hell I'm going to be going. I hear Dina's voice calling my name but the last thing I want is looking back at Dina and knowing she is no longer mine, JJ is not mine. God the thought alone is killing me! I keep running until I need to stop and let out whatever I had left in my stomach make it's way out of my body. I sit by the tree dry heaving after puking, crying like a moron. I look up and realize I'm at my old house...Joel's old house. I feel the tears coming down harder on my face, I get up on unsteady legs and make my way to the door, I turn the knob and sob as the door has remained unlocked and I see the house is still the same inside. I walk in...shut the door....and I let my body fall laying on the floor hiding away from the world of hell I am now in.

**What do I do now??? How do I go on now that I really am all alone?? Joel....Dad....I wish you were here....I need your help.**


	7. What The Hell Just Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Dina really with Felix? She has some questions of her own for Selene.

** Dina’s POV **

**What the hell just happened right now?!** My mind was in a panic mode. I’m staring at my front door, wide open from watching a ghost from my past run out of here like a bat out of hell. I break from my trance as I hear the door shut rather than see I was so deep into my thoughts. 

“I see your ghost didn’t waste anytime finding you?” Felix tells me with a frown on his face. I can’t respond I’m paralyzed, trying to piece together everything. My breathing is getting heavier, I shit my eyes and tell myself to calm down, I re open my eyes and see Felix put JJ into his crib by the fire place. I feel my hands clench into fists and anger replacing my shock, I walk up to him and slap him with all the strength I had, the room echos with the sound of my hand landing harshly on his cheek. I shake my hand trying to get rid of the stinging in my palm. Felix looks at me in shock as if I had no reason to hit him! “What the fuck Dina!?”   
  


“What the fuck Felix? I should be saying that to you!! Why did you say that to Ellie! And why did you have JJ!? Robin was going to have him almost all day!” I could feel my body trembling with the growing rage.   
  


“I got off my post early and figured I give Robin a break with the baby and as for Ellie what about her you really think she has changed!? She came here with another woman Dina....another omega. She was holding her and protecting her, if I didn’t know better I say Ellie has someone else.” Felix said to me which was almost a slap to my own face. **Ellie was with another woman?** My brain goes back to the hospital. Ellie was with a woman at the clinic...the brunette. I shake my head furiously.

”it doesn’t matter! I’ll get that information from Ellie myself. You have no right to make assumptions and establish your opinion on my past with Ellie and what is currently happening now!” I try not to yell at him not wanting to cause my son to cry.

”I have been there since she abandoned you Dina! Why the hell would you even want her back after that cause to me you and your son don’t mean a damn thing to her.” Felix growled out to me. I couldn’t believe what he was saying! For months he presented himself as a kind and understanding man but this side of him is unbelievable.

”you have no right to speak about her do you hear me! We are not together I have told you so many times I am not ready or looking for someone else.” I see Felix veins start to pop from his neck in anger, “don’t ever come back to this house without my permission or if I need repairs. You caused enough damage....get....out...” I move to the side to show him I was serious and tilting my head to the door. Felix moves his jaw trying to finger out something to say to me but one look at me and he knows he better not say another word to me at all. He stomps towards the door, opening it and slamming it shut. The noise causes JJ to cry in a panic. “Felix you asshole” I pick up my son holding him tightly to my chest humming next to his ear, “it’s okay my love it’s going to be ok.” I keep humming to help him calm down. It takes a good couple minutes before my sons sniffles become snores. **What am I going to do.....** I stare out my window looking at the busy streets of Jackson where everyone is having a normal day of work, chores, hunting, running businesses. A normal day became chaos for me and a tad bit of a nightmare. A ghost came back to me that I thought would just stay that way....a ghost. I need to go back to the clinic I have no idea where Ellie went and knowing her the way I do she will want nothing to do with me for the time being. I wrap JJ back into his blanket and make my way out the door heading back to Robins. As a make it to Robins I find myself pounding on the door, it opens quickly and Robin look surprise to see me with the little guy.

”Dina why aren’t you at the clinic? Felix said he would look after JJ for the day until you came back did something happen?” I sigh and try my best to not roll my eyes.

”Felix isn’t allowed to get JJ from you anymore he showed a side to himself I never want to see again and as for work....I’ll tell you later when I comes back for JJ okay? I really need to go back.” Robin nods her head not asking anymore as I say my thanks and kiss JJ on the head before leaving. As I make my way to the clinic I try to calm my nerves down and clear my head. The girl....I need to talk to her. Is she more to Ellie? Was Felix right about them....no Ellie couldn’t move on that fast right?? Then again she thought I was with Felix a few moments ago.....god this is all screwed up I want to cry, scream, hit something! God Ellie....a part of me still thinks I’m dreaming that this can’t be real....Ellie is back....I slowly make my way into the clinic apologizing to the staff for leaving and insuring them I’m ok. I make my way to the patient ward and I spot the brunette on the bed...the girl Ellie was with. I look at her waist and spot a little black....dog??? The girl looks at me and hold the animal a little closer to herself. “Sorry didn’t mean to scare you just wanted to pick up the medicine I dropped.” I go to the entrance wall and pick up the medicine.

”Soooooo....your probably what she was afraid of.” I look to the woman sitting on the bed. “You gotta be important if she left her pup and chased after you as soon as you turned away.” I open my mouth a few times but nothing comes out. I hear the girl chuckle “Man I won’t lie I’m a little jealous Ellie is so hung up on you thought I had a chance.” The girl smirks at me and I let out a growl in jealousy. I cough to fix my emotions and try to get them under control. I slowly walk over to the woman, keeping my eyes on the animal on the bed who seems to be taking a protective stance in front of this woman. I place the medicine on a nearby tray next to the patient. 

"So what's your story with Ellie?" I ask as I inch closer to the bed "I'm Dina I'm an.....old friend of Ellies." I cautiously look at the pup and slowly stick my hand out for it to sniff. It seems hesistant at first until it slowly inches its way towards my hand, sniffing the outstretched palm and giving a tiny lick of approval. "And who is this little furball?" I ask with a small smile. I see the bruntte smile and ruffle the animals head.

"Well Dina I'm Selene and this furball here is Knight. He is Ellie's." I look up at Selene with my eyes wide, Selene gives a chuckle "Yea said he saved her from some clickers didnt you little guy!" Selene rubs Knights tummy as he barks in happily. Selene looks at me and motions for me to have a seat. "My story is a long one so I guess you better sit down." I took her word and sat at the edge of the bed much similiar as Ellie did. Selene tells me about herself, her group, the attack, how she ended up injured, to going to the farm in hiding from the cannibals, running into Ellie, Ellie protecting her and killing the men chansing her, to bringing her all the way back to Jackson on foot. I couldn't help the smile coming to my face knowing that Ellie still had a human side to her when it came to others, that she didn't lose her kidness, even though I'm sure Ellie would have walked the other way if she really wanted to. I find myself petting Knight gently who seemed to be loving the attention from me and Selene. If I ever have a spare moment with the wolf I will thank him for protecting Ellie and bringing her back. "So you know me, want to tell me your story with our redheaded emotionally traumitized alpha and why she isn't back her?" Selene asked me and in truth I'm dreading the story I'm goign to have to tell that happened a mere hour ago in my home.

"Well....as to her not being here....she was trying to tell me everything that happened, how she feels and why she did what she did and.....a...I can't call them a friend but a person who I thought was kind told Ellie some things that just....hurt her and she took off before I could tell her that me and this man are not together but...she took off, and I don't blame her one bit. I would have done the same thing, hopefully I can talk to her again." Selene tilts her head at me processing my words.

"So you and this other man never had any sort of connection right? Cause I may not know about you but I know how Ellie feels, her emotions come out in waves, when she saw you I felt her fear, excitment, sadness, and love all in one. It was a bit to much to be honest. Why did you go after her?" Selene asked me. I look down at Knight who is trying to bite my finger to play.

"I wanted to Selene trust me I really did but I had to put Felix back in his place and I needed to take my son back to his grandmothers." At the mention of my son Selene sits straighter and I know the question that is dying to spill out of her mouth. "No JJ isn't Ellie's....I wish he was but he isn't. And it really doesn't matter she loves that boy as if she sired him herself. JJ was from a past relationship before I was with Ellie....Guess I'ts time for my story now huh?" I ask and Selene nods her head enthusiasticly. I take a deep breath and prepare myself to explain the best I can of my past, the innocent times, the good times, and the bad. 

"Well I was around fourteen maybe fifteen when Ellie and her father Joel came into Jackson. This scrawny little redhead who looked like a caged animal not knowing what to do with herself around people. Always stealing the beef jerky like she will never eat again. I was one of the firsts to approach her, everyone in town heard the stories about these two alphas wrecking havoc across boston to seattle. No one could touch them. So everyone was scared of those two, even thought tommy and Maria the head reps of Jackson told everyone they were good people just rough around the edges so to speak it was enough to keep people away, but not me like I said I was the first one to approach them after I gave them a few days to settle in. Joel was nice and respectful he was the one that ontroduced me to Ellie who always ran away if I was ever near. I was hard at first getting her to talk to me or be around me, she was so stand offish, but I never gave up I kept pushing to the point I know I was annoying. Ellie started to open up a little.....especially after months of trying. Once we became friends I introduced her to the other teenagers in our town, but after a while she really only ever hanged out with me or this boy named Jesse.....her and Jesse were so a like noth nerds in their own way, both competive with hunting and seeing how many clickers they could shoot down before they had to go back into town. Just two regular alpha's being well.....aplhas." Selene chuckles and encourages me to continue. So I keep explaining a four year friendship turned into a romance, to the horrible event of Joel's death and how that caused Elllie's path to revenge, to the gruesome fight she had with Abby, Jesse's death, Tommy's injuries....the farm and how simple and good life was, to Ellie leaving, to me moving back to Jackson for safety, to the arguement with Felix. After the whole talk I was drained emotionally and by looking at Selene so was she. I look back down to see Knights head on my lap sleeping away with little snores.

"Well I didn't know the story about your momma and her trials was so boring little guy." I say giving him light ear scratches. I gently lift his head off my leg and place it back onto the bed. "Well I have spent to much of your time as it is Selene let me check your injury and I'll be out of your way." Selene pushing the sheet down and slowly lifts her gown for me to examine the wound.

"It's not a problem and remebered I asked you to tell me your story, least now I understand whats going on with Ellie......poor girl she has been through hell....and so have you....I'm sorry." Selene tells me as I'm applying lotion around the red area of her stiches to keep any infection at bay.

"You don't need to apologize we live in a fucked up world, we just need to find a way to survive in it the best way we can Selene." I give her a smile as I bring her gown down for her and cover her back up with the sheet. I look at the clock and realized I have been with Selene for a solid two almost three hours. "Well I'll let you and Knight relax I'll be back before my shift ends to apply more oitment." 

"What about Ellie?" Selene asks me.

"I don't know where she could have gone off to but she will come back here or go to her aunt Maria. I'll see if I can talk to Maria and maybe she will know where Ellie is." I pick up the medicine for Ellie when Selene's voice stops me.

"Hey you can leave her medicine here, if she decides to come back which I think she will I can let her know that her medicine for her hand is right here.....and see if she is alright for you? Maybe convince her to talk to you again. You two still have a lot of shit to clean up, and make sure that Felix guy stays away too or I'm gonna kick his ass." Selene looks at me and pounds her right fist into her left palm which causes me to laugh and I nod my head in promise. I leave the medicine onto the tray, giving Knight one more scratch behind the ear before making my way out of the room and doing my much needed rounds that I'm sure I'm so behind I'll get in trouble for. Yet it was worth it, I got to know Selene and put some ease that Ellie hasn't found someone else, but the hurt is still there, the trust is lost, but the love remains.

**I hope we can overcome this Ellie.....but can I trust you to stay, will you run away? We have a lot to fix....if fixable......**


	8. Second Chances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so so sorry guys for such a long pause before an update life has been busy but thank god for vacation!!!! Here is a much needed update!

** Ellie’s POV **

****

**How long have I been laying here? A few minutes or a few hours?** I thought to myself as I used my burning dry eyes that can’t cry anymore around my surroundings. I slow long sit up as I feel my back become stiff from the position I was in. I feel my spine crack in a few places as I straightened myself up, groaning in the process. I lean my head on the wall of Joel’s entry way seeing how nothing has been touched in this house. Maria really did keep it the same in case I wanted to come back to town with Dina. I grimace as the thought of Dina comes to me and the conversation we had and that guy…Felix…huh no wonder he was ready to shoot me and Knight at the gate, he knew who I was. I get back up and decide to take a tour of the house I already knew but felt like I haven’t seen in years. Dust covered pretty much every inch of the place but everything was the same. The kitchen with Joel’s mug, his boots by the door, my drawings in the living room I gave as gifts, pictures of us and our family members in the hall. My body takes me upstairs walking me into his wood shop where he spent hours and hours carving whatever came to his mind. I look along the wall and see the guitars Joel created. My hand runs along the beautiful instruments he made. I felt more tears burning my eyes wanting to escape but I wouldn’t give the tears the satisfaction, I cried enough for today.

I look to my left and see a beautiful six string guitar near the window of the room. A beautiful dark cherry red with white design of patterns that look to be a raven with wind trails floating behind from the the left side of the guitar. I find myself grabbing the jet black neck of the guitar and realized it was a left handed guitar.

**_Strange….Joel isn’t left handed, wonder if he made this for someone in town._** I thought to myself.

“Eerie isn’t it?” I spin around hearing the voice to find Maria at the entrance of the room. She walked closer to me looking at the room. “Not me or Tommy had the heart to give this place to anyone else, couldn’t even come inside without crying.” Maria skimmed her fingers along the cowboy wooden carving of Joel’s. “I loved that stubborn old man, he was my brother just like your my niece. I figured if you and Dina ever wanted to come back here or visit….you ladies had a place to be that is yours and it’s…family. If that makes sense.” Maria finished. I bite my lip and walk back to the wall to place the instrument back on the wall.

“I get it and thank you for not giving this place up….it hurts I won’t lie to be in here without him but, it’s my home too.” I put my hands in my pockets and lean against a wall vacant of designs or guitars. I’m dying to ask Maria a certain question just I can’t figure out how the hell to say it so my mouth just does the deed for me. “So was Dina And Felix a thing when I was….well gone or presumed dead?”

“Felix? No Dina didn’t want anything to do with a relationship she was in love with you and heartbroken by you. Her main focus is JJ. Of course that didn’t stop Felix. He would do the normal

Alpha role…go on hunts, show off his strength, help Dina with whatever she needed to show he was loyal.” I fell my anger build the more Maria talks but I try to control myself as she continues on. “Of course she thanked him for what she assumed was kindness but she would reject him softly. Dumb man never got the hint…oldest story in the book of you ask me.” Maria says looking at me with a small grin.

“What do you mean oldest story?” I ask her as she lets out a laugh shaking her head.

“That man wants the one thing he cannot have. He wants Dina, she doesn’t want him, but he can’t handle that. He can’t handle her being in love with a “ghost” who apparently isn’t.” Maria finishes with a sigh. Maria walks towards me throwing her arm around my shoulder pulling me with her to the hallway. “Dina is loyal Ellie, when it comes to you she can’t see anything else.” Maria says as we walk downstairs.

“Yea well we basically had a blow out…” I say lowly which caused Maria to lightly chuckle.

“So I have heard from some of the town folk. I told you it wouldn’t be pretty girl. And it still may not be but hell you gotta keep trying for her cause deep down she still loves you Ellie. Although like I said she is hurt. Give her time.” I nod my head as we make it to the bottom of the stairs. “So….want me to give you the key to this place?” Maria asked pulling out the house key. I look into Maria’s eyes and give her an approving smile sticking out my hand and taking the key.

“No one else is taking something else from me so fuck yea I’m taking the key.” I say to Maria with a huff. Maria smiles and tells me she is happy I took over the place and she would check up on me later. I watch Maria walk out the door as I place the key into my pocket. Ready to head out myself. I needed to check on Knight and my new omega friend stuck in the hospital. As I walk outside I see the sky is a pink and purple tint with the sun halfway down, Jesus it’s almost nightfall. I make my way back to the hospital avoiding any eyes I feel falling upon me, I pass through the doors of the hospital which felt like took centuries to get to when in reality it was probably no more then 10 minutes of a walk. As I walk to the room Selene and Knight will be in I stop dead in my tracks at seeing Dina making her way out the room. Dina looks up from the file in her hand and pushes herself. She quickly looks behind her where Selene is and lifts her hand to bring a strand of her back hair behind her ear. Something she always has done when she is nervous. Dina looks at me and walks over to me.

“Your friend is sleeping and her little protector are sleeping they both had a long day.” Dina whisper as if she is trying to not wake up the omega and my pup.

“Oh..” I find myself playing with my hands “then I’ll just grab Knight and go.” I begin to say and make my way to the room until Dina places her hand on my shoulder freezing me in my spot yet again.

“You can grab him once we put some ointment on that hand of yours Ellie it needs care and attention.” Dina drops her hand on my shoulder. “Cmon follow me to a spare room.” Dina starts walking and I take a quick glance at Selene and Knight who true by Dina’s words were sleeping peacefully. I following Dina down the hall to a personal examination room which is met for just one patient and the doctor for check ups. Dina instructs me to sit on the examination bed which I do without a fight watching as she puts on globes and grabs a bottle of what I assume is the medicine for my stubs. Dina walks over and gently grabs my left hand examining the wound, I can see her face change from shock to sadness within seconds. Her gloves fingers lightly run on my two stubs with such care as if the rest of my fingers would fall off with anymore pressure.

“I’m not gonna break Dina.” I try to laugh to some how release some of the tension. “It doesn’t hurt so much anymore.” I tell her as she looks at me with a quivering lip.

“Ellie…the wound needed care right away, you might have a lot of pain in the winter or stiffness whenever you way up from sleep….have they ever gotten infected?” She asks me as I look down. No way am I gonna tell her that it takes me a good thirty minutes at times from waking up messaging the stubs to get the blood flowing again or that the winter fucks me up causing the stubs to throb and ache at times.

“It hurt like hell stitching them up….the pain isn’t bad anymore…still feel like I have fingers.” I tell her.

“What happened Ellie did you get this from the fight with Abby or something else?” Dina ask as she gently rubs my hand getting rid of the stiffness I didn’t know was there and getting rid of some of the ache that always resides in my hand.

“It’s from the fight with Abby. Remember I told you I was holding her in the water?” Dina nods her head. “Well that’s when she bit off my fingers to get me to let her go before I punched the living shit out of her. To be honest I didn’t know I lost the fingers until I say I’m the ocean telling her to leave. After that I tried the best I could to take care of it” I tell Dina. Dina doesn’t say anything as she puts the ointment onto my stubs. I think about Selene in the bed a few rooms down.

**_Shit does Dina think I’m with Selene the way I thought Felix was with her?_** I think to myself as I watched my love take care of me again. Like she always has. “Dina…about Selene she isn’t-“

“I know. Selene told me everything after she saw what happened between you and I. Her and I had a heart to heart in a way. Girl is funny…if circumstances were different her and I would have gotten along within seconds.” Dina softly smiles at me.

“Dina…I’m so sorry. I know it’s bullshit and not good enough and it will never be good enough. Is there….will you…” I can’t finish my question to fucking scared to ask her for another chance if I’m even good enough for another chance.

“Ellie I don’t know.” Dina says as she wraps my fingers to keep the ointment on. “I need time….I literally just saw you today alive and walking. I won’t lie Ellie I missed you….but I had to love as if you were dead and gone. I needed to be there for JJ and if I stayed stuck in your memory….I don’t know I just felt lost and our baby needed me Ellie. You know he would look around for you in the bedroom wondering if you would walk through the door…he would cry and cry for hours. Then one night I pulled out an old flannel of yours and wrapped it around him and that damn kid stopped crying in an instant. Every night he slept with your shirt next to me.” Dina voice trembles as she talks to me.

**_God I feel like a piece of shit…poor potato….I never should have left._** I tell myself.

“And if your wondering he does still sleep with that flannel he will cry whenever I try to take it away at night.” Dina laughs tearfully as she finishes explaining. She wipes her tears quickly taking off her gloves. “Your done, leave the wrapping on for the rest of today so the ointment really sits and sinks into the skin. It will help with the redness and the tiny bit of swelling you have going on.” Dina grabs the tube of ointment and hands it to me. “ put this on every morning and every night before bed.” Dina is about to walk away until I call her out once more.

“Dina…..I know you want your time but…..could I see JJ? Not today or tomorrow if you don’t want but…soon? I really miss him Dina.” I try to figure out Dina’s body language but she doesn’t dare look at me with her back still in front of me. My brain is begging and my heart is beating like crazy hoping Dina will let me see him.

“I’ll think about it Ellie. I won’t keep you from him I promise, but give me time ok?” Dina tells me as she walks away preventing me from saying anything else. I close my eyes and lean my head back taking deep breathes.

**_Well could have been worse._** I think to myself as I make my ways out of the examination room and towards Selene to get my companion. As I enter the room my footsteps peeled Knight’s ears and opens his golden eyes and raises his head like a lightening bolt. I smile as I see his tail bounce up and down in excitement to seeing me. He drops from the bed and runs towards me as I crouch down to receive the love from my wolf which I never really realized I needed so much. Knight gives me a few good licks before I stand up glancing at the sleeping Selene.

“Thanks for watching her boy.” I tell Knight as he wags his tail faster in a whip like fashion. “Cmon boy lets go to our new home and let Selene sleep. We’ll see her tomorrow.” I snap my fingers to alert Knight to follow me as we make our way outside. As we walked back to the house a few curious children wanted to get near Knight so I stopped and cautioned the kids to approach Knight carefully since I don’t fully know how he would take the attention. A girl no older then 7 walked over and I instructed for her to stick her hand out for Knight to sniff. Knight looked at her hand in wonder before cautiously sniffing, after a few sniffs the wolf gently licks the girls hand causing her to giggle. Knight nudges his head into her hand giving the girl permission for pets. She lightly scratched his ears which cause the little guy to let out a high pitches groan of pleasure, after that a few more of the kids surrounded us each introducing themselves to Knight and giving him scratches behind the ear, to the chin and chest, and his belly when he flopped over loving the attention he was getting.

**_Yup more dog then wolf._** I think to myself. “Alright guys Knight and I have to get going now.” The group of kids groaned and protested and apparently so did Knight who refused to move to the point I picked him up and carried him away promising the kids they will see more of him. “Your loving this attention aren’t you?” I look at Knight as I talked to him which he howled and licked my cheek. We are halfway home and I’m struggling with Knight since he wasn’t a fan of being held at the moment I didn’t I couldn’t pay attention to where I was walking I bumped into another body. “Shit I’m so sorry!” I exclaim and when I looked at the person I couldn’t help but stare. Again I’m face to face with Dina but this time with JJ in her arms. The little guy staring hard at me. “Dina.”

“Ellie.” Dina says back and watches as the once struggling wolf in my arms is now taking interest in the little guy in her arms. Knight sticks his neck out further to sniff JJ which cause JJ to clap excitedly and laugh reaching out for Knight which was more like baby slaps to the face. Yet Knight didn’t give a damn he kept stretching for JJ’s attention.

“I’m so sorry Dina Knight was being an ass.” I tell her pulling Knight away from JJ. I couldn’t stop staring at him. He has a few more teeth but hasn’t lost his chubby cheeks. He is a perfect mix of Dina and Jesse it’s eerie. JJ grunts when I pull Knight away but once he look at me I feel my world stop. His eyes run over my face, his hands reaching for me in curiosity. I look at Dina who is biting her lip as she sees what JJ will do. I find myself putting Knight down softly to the ground commanding him to sit as I looked from Dina to JJ. “Can I?” I ask knowing I’m pushing my luck but I can’t help myself at this point.

“Ummmm” Dina is hesitant and I don’t blame her but JJ keeps reaching for me which causes her to hand him over to me. I held him so close to me not believing he is in my arms again.

“Hey potato.” I whisper to him leaning my head to his. He places his hands all over my face from my cheeks, to lips, eyes, my ears. Everywhere he could touch he did. I hugged him close smelling his scent and hoping I can hold it to memory. “I missed you so much buddy you don’t understand.” I whisper to him as if he could understand my words. I place a kiss on he head, “I’ll never leave you again bud I promise.” I swear to him before I feel Dina’s hands on him grabbing him back. I pass him over to her and my heart breaks at his whines and outstretched hands looking for me to take.

“Cmon JJ we need to go home and it’s your bed time.” Dina says to him as she rest him in her hip. “See you around Ellie.” Dina says as I watch my family walk away. I was about to continue to go home before I hear Dina’s voice once more. “Ellie….would you like to hang out with JJ later tomorrow. I’m not working at the clinic tomorrow so it would be just him and me.” My hear stutters at her offer.

“Y-yea I would love that.” I tell her knowing I’m grinning like an idiot.

“Ok….see you tomorrow.” Dina says walking away with JJ looking over her shoulder. His hands still reaching out.

“See you soon potato.” I whisper into the early evening air. I look down to Knight who stayed by my side. “Looks like I’m getting my second chance boy.” I say down to him as I turned and finished the walk home with a smile on my face and a happy wolf trotting by my side.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all who gives this story a chance, Its my first ever story so I will do my best, i will try to upload a new chapter every other two days! Hope you guys enjoy!


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